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"Beat the Deputy!", or some words about an incident with Sotnik Parasyuk

The first fight in the Verkhovna Rada of the VIII call
The first fight in the Verkhovna Rada of the VIII call
Photo: tsn.ua

Deputies fight in the Verkhovna Rada, because they are bone and flesh of their voters who cannot agree with each other, either. But it is a shame to do the fighting in the Parliament when people die of bullets in Donbass, believes Evgeny Kuzmenko, the columnist of the GORDON.

By Eugeny Kuzmenko
                    

Hardly had the Verkhovna Rada of 8th convocation made a fight in the session hall when the progressive public grumbled fastidiously:

– They are fighting again, fools! How vulgar, how far from the European way! Why not adopt laws … It is disgusting!

And they glued their eyes to the TV sets. A group of UDAR members was already pressing Sotnik Parasyuk; his fight mates came to help him; then, Oleg Lyashko’s bold head appeared here and there – in a word, a grandiose fight was about to start. But…

Nothing came out of it. When the speaker Groysman caught his breath and people's deputies began to walk back to their seats, the progressive public murmured disappointedly:

– Well, thank God, they came to their senses. They will get down to work now!

Guys, why this hypocrisy? Tell the truth finally: you like watching it!

And they returned to their usual business – Facebook, sites of travel agencies and solitaire. Life burst again

… Every time that I looking at this storm of national indignation at the fights of the deputies, I want to tell my compatriots:

– Guys, why this hypocrisy? Tell the truth finally: you like watching it! 
Youtube videos with these scuffles have enormous ratings! People really enjoy watching the deputies punch each other. People have several reasons for that.

Firstly, an average person cannot punch a deputy but for some lucky exceptions. Therefore, he is glad to delegate this right to other people's deputies. It is also desirable that they should get beaten, too. So that nobody would leave the temple of legislation untouched. Then an average Ukrainian can go to work, in the shop or to a pub with a pleasant feeling that he did not live this day in vain.

Secondly, consideration of an important question without a fight is, according to many people, a certain sign of a plot between the coalition and the opposition. I know at least ten amateur conspiracy theorists who are ready to watch a minute’s video over and over again just in order to call and say:

– It is not so simple after all. Who is Elbrus Tedeev? He is an Olympic champion in wrestling! And why is he standing in a corner and not taking part in the fight? It is a fixed game, a fake!

In order to calm down my friend, I had to ask Elbrus Soslanovich himself about his so-called passive way of fighting.

People from talk-shows demonstrate themselves from new sides. It becomes clear if you would go on the scout with them or not 

The most titled figure in the "fighting group" of the Party of the Regions faction (Tedeev, Tsarev, Shentsev, sometimes Volkov and Salamatin) looked at me and said timidly:

– You know, I have always been better with my opponent’s body than with mine. In this case, it would be offensive for any People's Deputy (especially, those who are not engaged in sports) if I offended someone. I will feel humiliated myself, and Mother will call and tell me again: "Elbrus, sonny, do not do it…"

I told this to my conspiracy theorist friend, but he did not believe the Olympic champion, he answered:

– He just did not need to let loose his fists. If someone had attacked Yanukovych…

Another reason why the public watches parliamentary fights with such pleasure is the deep dramatic effect of such fights. People from talk-shows demonstrate themselves from new sides. It becomes clear if you would go on the scout with them or not.

For example, I would not go to the front line with Alexander Efremov or Mikhail Chechetov. I remember December fight of 2010 when a horde of deputies from the then ruling Party of Regions beat those whoe were blocking the tribune and presidium of oppositional deputies. When everything was over and Yulia Timoshenko Bloc member Vasily Kravchuk had to be carried away on a stretcher, back doors opened and Efremov and Chechetov timidly glanced into the hall. Of course, they did not get into the fight, but they did not forget to check everything. It looked more than disgusting from outside.

The history of parliamentary fights is full of bright events. If you close your eyes, you recall how an egg hit Oleg Tsarev's head on the day of ratification of Kharkiv agreements, then another – and the furious future speaker of the Novorossiya parliament throws back to where these eggs came from…

I remember how the furious people's deputy Kendzyor who, having seen the SDPU(O) member who had written some gruesome libel against him, grasped the latter by his tie and brought him down…

I remember half-naked Kolesnichenko, a hook in the jaw of the people's deputy Lyashko, bulging eyes of Svoboda member Kaydu, future Minister of Defense Salamatin who hit the nose of the people's deputy Karpuk with a chair …

I remember much.

Do not husbands beat wives, parents beat children, and pupils beat schoolmates? 

And the most important thing is that all these fights were deservedly accompanied by indignant exclamations of average Ukrainians:

– What are they doing? They disgrace Ukraine!

– It is parliament, they should speak and not fight hear!

– They should be refuse deputy’s rights!

On the one hand, how can we disagree with it? On the other hand, can voters agree with one another? Do not husbands beat wives, parents beat children, and pupils beat their schoolmates? Are not our restaurants filled with romans landiks? Are not communications disrupted inside our society?

Thus, we should not blame deputies only. They are elected by people, they are bone and flesh of the people. Yes, they are often lucky, impudent, and pushy, often they do not look like "average Ukrainians". And do not we all, including pregnant women, passionately watch fights of Klitschko brothers?

Generally, we should not be ashamed of the fights in the session hall. We are all people, we all have the right for emotions. Eventually, with whom do we sympathize more in "The Office Romance": with quick-tempered, but kind Novoseltsev or with the rude Samokhvalov with his classical " I will answer, but in a different way"?

And the answer to all these questions would be "Let them fight!" if not the time we live in.

Because it is shameful if not bad manners to do the fighting in the Parliament when people die of bullets and splinters in Donbass, do not you agree?

No, there are different situations; sometimes, the only way to fight against impudent corruption is with the fists. Besides, some morally depraved people understand only the language of force and how can you have a "constructive dialogue" with them?

Generally, however, there is a strong wish that meetings of the parliament of the eighth convocation will not turn into large-scale fights again and again. People expect so much from this Rada! It will be a shame if deputies substitute real problems for a cheap vaudeville with broken noses and damaged microphones.

Or cannot our parliamentarians do without it anymore?

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